


Brooding

by ScriptrixDraconum



Series: Steel and Roses [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3097232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScriptrixDraconum/pseuds/ScriptrixDraconum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Esmé Cousland, a young but tested warrior and defender of Highever, was recruited by Duncan to help end the Blight. When the attack on Castle Cousland forced her to leave her parents behind, she also left her future with her secret betrothed, Ser Gilmore. Now a Grey Warden, Esmé spends her days on the road with a company of skilled fighters and healers. Only one of them is a Warden, recruited by Duncan six months before her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brooding

__

 

 _Her screams_  
_We hear in our dreams_  
  
_We hated_  
_As she is violated_  
  
_She grins_  
_And devours her kin_

_~_

I could hear myself screaming. My wild limbs pushed, forcing whatever held me to stay back. I cried out, shrieking, but as futility sank slowly into my body, I began to whimper.

My fingers dug into a soft hide shirt, and I knew I was no longer dreaming. A warm embrace drew me back down from my nightmare. I smelled sweat, leather, and a campfire. Meat and vegetables were stewing.

"Are you back, now?" a gentle voice asked.

Alistair. He was close. Not cradling me exactly, but lying beside me in my tent, a hand cupping my cheek, thumbing away tears. The intimacy was entirely unexpected, but not unwelcome. Very likely, Alistair had experienced the same nightmare. Unlike me, however, he probably kicked himself out of the dream-trap, and came to help me do the same.

The closer we traveled to Orzammar, the more turbulent my dreams became. Alistair couldn't say the same. He had learned to block them out, mostly. Occasionally he did cry out in his sleep, not as much from seeing darkspawn and archdemons, but rather dreaming of being chased by old Chantry matrons, forcing him to eat his vegetables.

My eyes opened and caught Alistair's gaze immediately. His sad, soft brown eyes glowed like backlit honey, and worry etched deep lines into his otherwise gentle face. I looked away, embarrassed, and sat up, removing myself from his warmth.

"Did you see it?" I asked him as I pulled on my dirty white shift. It was only then that I realized Alistair had seen my sweaty, blood-encrusted, dirt-dusted body in just my smallclothes. He  _had_  however done me the courtesy of covering me with a blanket, at least.

"Uh, nope." His light laugh was fueled by nerves. "Didn't see a thing. Promise."

Brow raised, I turned to eye the man.  _Stare of doom_ , Gilmore had called it. "I meant the dream, Alistair."

"Ohhh, you mean the ugly blob of flesh with many… many…  _tentacles_. Yeah, saw that. Woke up immediately, thank the Maker… heard you screaming, and Potato whining outside your tent. Leliana's not happy about being woken  _again_ , by the way. Mentioned something about a sleeping poultice…."

"Leliana can stuff it," I replied rather bluntly, "move her tent far away, like Morrigan." Smiling, I added, "Don't repeat that…. I'm just tired."

"And  _mighty_  grumpy."

"Hmph." I ran my fingers through my untied hair, urging out a few knots. "Do you know what that was? The…  _thing_ …. I heard a voice in my dream, not the voice of that creature but, softer, almost like a… dead voice."

"Dead voice?"

"Haunting."

"Oh."

"You didn't hear it?"

Alistair shook his head. "What did it say?"

I thought a moment, trying to recall the words, though most had by then left my memory. "Something about a woman being violated and eating her kin."

"Ew." His face contorted rather amusedly.

"Is it normal for my dreams to get  _worse_  over time? You barely have any of these dreams."

"I do. I mean, I barely have any  _now_ , yes, but I still have them. But, like I said, something may be different for Wardens who undergo the Joining during a Blight. And, we're only a day outside of the Frostbacks. There are always darkspawn in the Deep Roads of Orzammar…." He shrugged. "Perhaps that thing we saw was another breed of darkspawn. I don't know."

"How many 'breeds' are there, exactly?"

"Well, there's the hurlocks, genlocks, ogres and shrieks, all of which you've seen. So, four. Five, if you count the archdemon. I don't know about any others, but the Deep Roads may be home to all  _sorts_  of abominations." He audibly shuddered.

I frowned, and shielded my face with my hands.

"Are you going to be alright?" I heard Alistair ask. "I can… stay here, if you want. If it helps you sleep, I mean. I've slept… mostly. Judging by those half-moons under your eyes, though,  _you_  haven't. Not enough, anyway."

My muffled mumbling of "shut up" was decidedly unintelligible.

"Or, I don't know," Alistair continued. "Potato could stay with you." A muted whine sounded from outside my tent. "Or I could just stand guard outside the tent. Whatever you prefer."

I groaned as I lay back down on my bedroll. "Just stay," I commanded, or rather, yielded. "Potato…," I lowered my voice, "well, stinks. Worse than even you," I added with a jesting smirk. "Protector to the death, yes. But cuddle companion?" I huffed a laugh, and turned on my side to face Alistair. His deer hide underarmor was rather foul and badly needed replacing, but at least he didn't smell like he rolled in a pile of decay in the forest.

"I'm not much of a cuddle companion either," he confessed, grinning, "but I will stay, if it comforts you."

"It does," I admitted sleepily before yawning rather loudly. "Thank you."

"Sleep, now," my fellow Grey Warden ordered. "Just don't punch me again if you dream of more darkspawn."

"I punched you?"

"Yes. It  _hurt_."

"Where?"

"Right over my heart. You're so  _barbarous_." I could hear the grin in his voice.

"Just defend yourself, next time," I countered, smiling.

"You mean  _hit a girl_? Perish the thought."

"Well, if the girl deserves it…."

" _You_  say that as if you  _want_  me to hit you."

Eyes closed, I smiled.

" _Barbarous_ ," Alistair repeated before settling in beside me.


End file.
